A few weeks ago, I was talking with my students about a psychologist named Heinz Kohut. One of his major ideas is called "mirroring." One phrase he uses is "mirror hungry." A mirror hungry person is someone who has not been mirrored enough and is longing to be seen. The theory is that this type of person has not received enough attention from primary caregivers in his or her life (i.e. family) to make them feel of value. This person does not feel seen.
It made me begin thinking about selfies. They are all the rage right now. What does this say about us? About our society? What if we are in a mirror hungry era? We are seeking to see our own image to know we are of value. We are playing out this need by making countless pictures of ourselves to prove our value. What happens we we see our selves in the pictures? Do we see what we want to see? Does the picture give us what we are truly longing for--to be seen? I am toying with a hypothesis that we are stuck in the symbol of the selfie as if it is reality and are being left with far less than we are looking for. Yes, the selfie does give us a mirror. We see who we are and what we look like. But what we see is our surface, our outer beauty or lack thereof. In actuality, we long for someone to see our insides--our deepest needs, what makes us click, and what we love. We long for someone to value who we are at our core--to truly see us beyond looks or the picture that is reflected back to us through the camera.
It made me begin thinking about selfies. They are all the rage right now. What does this say about us? About our society? What if we are in a mirror hungry era? We are seeking to see our own image to know we are of value. We are playing out this need by making countless pictures of ourselves to prove our value. What happens we we see our selves in the pictures? Do we see what we want to see? Does the picture give us what we are truly longing for--to be seen? I am toying with a hypothesis that we are stuck in the symbol of the selfie as if it is reality and are being left with far less than we are looking for. Yes, the selfie does give us a mirror. We see who we are and what we look like. But what we see is our surface, our outer beauty or lack thereof. In actuality, we long for someone to see our insides--our deepest needs, what makes us click, and what we love. We long for someone to value who we are at our core--to truly see us beyond looks or the picture that is reflected back to us through the camera.
RSS Feed